A New Mom’s Guide to Not Looking Dead Inside

Becoming a mom has been, without a doubt, the hardest transition I have ever endured. It’s all fun and games when you’re pregnant and this little human is hypothetical and you still have time for basic hygiene. Then you give birth (which is insane, whatever way you slice it), and a tiny little being turns your world around and you begin to long for the days when showering and going pee weren’t a luxury. Every baby is different (and every mom) but this shift absolutely ROCKED MY WORLD. I was consumed with the intricacies of keeping my baby alive with food made by my body (no pressure 😳) and quickly lost sight of how simply pulling yourself together in the morning can be life changing. I’m a slow learner so this all took me awhile to figure out (probably about 6 months if I’m being honest) but I now have a little routine that makes me feel slightly more human and able to take on the day with an energetic 8 month old. Do you care? I’m going to tell you about it anyway…

  1. Salty Face Gradual Face Tan

I looooove the feeling of being tan. It makes me feel prettier, more alive and like I can get away with less or no makeup. I put it on at night with my moisturizer and it gives a nice glow by the time you wake up in the AM. It’s also natural and doesn’t have that god awful fake tanner smell I smelled like for most of the early 2000s because fun fact, I worked at a tanning salon.

2. Milk Makeup Lip & Cheek Stick in Pink

I got this as a sample at Sephora and am ob-sessed. A little cream blush can go a long way and distract from the fact that you’re covered in cheerios and spit up.

3. Freck OG

Basically the only reason I go on vacation is to get freckles on my nose. I feel like I am my best self when covered in cute little frecks. This freckle stain is easy to use and doesn’t leave you looking like a Cabbage patch doll.

4. Glossier Lash Slick

I’m picky about mascara but this one gets my stamp of approval. If I have time for nothing else, I will curl my eyelashes and put a swipe of this on.

5. Ilia True Skin Serum Foundation

I just love Ilia. Their stuff feels so good on and instantly makes me feel less haggard. I wear this light, not-greasy foundation in shade Tavarua. When you have two seconds to get out the door with your screaming child, you can rub this on quick and leave looking like you maybe even slept 8 hours?!

6. Blistex Daily Lip Conditioner

This is a weird one, but this lip balm is a MUST for me. I oddly find it so soothing and I must have one on me at all times—in the diaper bag, pocket of every jacket, stroller, etc. This colour is my favourite but I will take the white pot too and the blue pot when my lips are real chapped.

7. Batiste Volume Dry Shampoo

When I was pregnant my hair was absolutely incredible—not to brag or anything but it was such a nice change from having thin, greasy hair my whole life. As soon as Emmett arrived, my hair went back to its old tricks but even worse. In those hazy newborn days I reaaaaally struggled to find time to wash my hair, so tried just about every dry shampoo on the market. I tried all the expensive ones but this drug store find is still my fave. A little spritz of this goes a long way for a greasy mama.

8. Corpus Naturals Deodorant in Third Rose

Ok this isn’t so much about not looking like death, but rather, not smelling like it. No one talks about this, but your hormones go absolutely apeshit in postpartum and you find yourself sweatier and stinkier (or I did at least). This natural deodorant actually works and smells like a GD dream. Smell is so connected to memory for me and I originally started using this on our honeymoon so when I swipe it on my pits I am transported back to a heavenly kid-free time in Greece.

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A Non-Exhaustive List of Things I Wish I Knew about Postpartum

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